Audience vote

 

Epilogue 1

 

Host: (must now improvise, i.e. counting the raised hands in the audience or letting the ushers count them and potentially coming up with a speech that leads to the following) Thank you very much, I declare that the majority is in favour of Frank’s divorce. Ah, ladies and gentlemen, that is something my subjects will not be in agreement with. Am I right?

 

Frank: (gesturing to the audience) I couldn’t care less what they think, all of them, just sitting there!

 

Host: And Anna? Are you not seeing sense at least? You’re going to have a baby and that will be your raison d’être. You do not need this man. He was part of your life, yes, but never your actual life. Let him go.

 

Anna: Who even are you? Who gave you the right to talk to us like this?

 

Ellen: Are you even human?

 

Anna: Have you just listened and yet not understood our desires? That I don’t want to be alone! Is that not enough for you? Are you dead inside?

 

Ellen: He’s like a machine. A computer on legs. Someone’s set him on us. Frank, turn him off.

 

Anna: Destroy him!

 

Host: You cannot destroy life!

 

Frank: You’re not life, you’re a concept, (grabs him) an imperative!

 

Host: You cannot escape life either. Here, in this room, the majority is against you!

 

Ellen: Turn him off!

 

Anna: Switch him off!

 

(shouting, uproar, the Host collapses, the three move away from him)

 

Anna: Is he human?

 

Ellen: He’s a machine!

 

Anna: He wanted to destroy our marriage.

 

Ellen: And my love!

 

Frank: Exactly! As if this wasn’t possible – your love and our marriage!

 

Anna: (kisses Frank) Thank you!

 

Ellen: With you it’s never boring. (kisses him)

 

Frank: I feel really good now! Almost cannibalistic! There was a point to the evening after all! I hope the ladies and gentlemen here in the room have seen that too. Come on! (leaves with Anna and Ellen)

 

Host: (gets up, calls after them) Ellen, you silly little cow, don’t keep wasting your youth on a man whose only interest is your naked body! Frank, the career man, learn to value your wife. And you Anna, a woman who loves life, look forward to having your child. And don’t forget the big kid by your side. He is helpless without you and doesn’t realise it. Ladies and gentlemen, here ends our session!

 

 

 

Epilogue 2

 

Host: (must now improvise, i.e. counting the raised hands in the audience or letting the ushers count them and potentiallly coming up with a speech that leads to the following) Thank you very much, I declare that the majority is against Frank’s divorce. Well, Doctor, congratulations, you have held your own , now you must go through with it. You seriously believe that the two women will continue playing in this double life with you?

 

Frank: I’m not scared!

 

Host: Then do let us observe what will happen in six months time when Ellen will have moved into a flat in London.

 

Frank: Our most recent conflict?

 

Host: Yes, exactly that. Ellen, please enter your London pad and welcome Frank.

 

Ellen: Do I have to?

 

Frank: (as himself) Yes, yes, I want to know what might happen too now!

 

Ellen: Fine. (takes up her position)

 

Frank: (acting now) Hello darling, sorry I’m late.

 

Ellen: Hi!

 

Frank: Dull talks at uni, but you know, I don’t like leaving, causes unnecessary attention. (lies down on the sofa) Ah, time to relax. Have you got anything to drink?

 

Ellen: Get something yourself if you’re thirsty.

 

Frank: You annoyed?

 

Ellen: You know why!

 

Frank: Well I can’t change that! Actually, I should be with Anna. It could happen any time now.

 

Ellen: A good time to take stock then.

 

Frank: What do you mean?

 

Ellen: I’ve met someone.

 

Frank: Someone? What kind of someone?

 

Ellen: Just someone, a young guy!

 

Frank: Right, ok! (sits down) Is it going to be a problem for our relationship?

 

Ellen: As long as it’s not a problem for you!

 

Frank: How long’s it been going on now?

 

Ellen: About a month.

 

Frank: Ok, fine by me.

 

Ellen: You’re going to have to share me with someone else.

 

Frank: Am I not enough for you?

 

Ellen: No! Not anymore!

 

Frank: Right, so nothing’s gonna happen today then?

 

Ellen: You’re ok with that?

 

Frank: What am I supposed to do? Start shouting the odds? I’ve got other things to think about.

 

Ellen: You’d never make a head’s position.

 

Frank: No need to carry on being spiteful!

 

Ellen: I kept today free.

 

Frank: Well come on then! What’s wrong?

 

Ellen: I’m not sure I really want to sleep with you today.

 

Frank: Let’s give it a miss today then, I’m quite tired anyway.

 

Ellen: I’d appeciate that.

 

Frank: In that case, I’m gonna go, alright?

 

Ellen: Alright.

 

Frank: I’ll call you.

 

Ellen: Yeah, call me.

 

Host: Thank you, thank you. So then you went home and surprised your wife. Anna, come over please. What happened when your husband turned up at home unexpected?

 

Anna: Act it out?

 

Host: If you would be so kind! Ok, Frank?

 

Frank: Yeah, yeah.

 

(Anna and Frank take up their positions)

 

Anna: Oh hello, you’re back already?

 

Frank: Yeah, I didn’t bother going to my meeting. Don’t feel right. (sits down heavily on the sofa)

 

Anna: Are you ill?

 

Frank: Tired! Have you got anything to drink?

 

Anna: Get it yourself! (sits down, puts her hands on her stomach)

 

Frank: Is it time?

 

Anna: I don’t feel like it is, no.

 

Frank: Any aches and pains?

 

Anna: No.

 

Frank: How about I have a go, from behind?

 

Anna: I thought you were tired...

 

Frank: I’ve got the urge now!

 

Anna: Then why aren’t you with that Ellen?

 

Frank: Not now!

 

Anna: Yes now!

 

Frank: What, why are you saying ‘yes now’?!

 

Anna: Because I’m setting you free!

 

Frank: Are you mad?!

 

Anna: No, I’ve just come to my senses.

 

Frank: You can’t do this now!

 

Anna: It’s better if we separate.

 

Frank: But not in your condition, you can’t!

 

Anna: Frank, the baby, it’s not yours!

 

Frank: What?

 

Anna: It’s Graham’s.

 

Frank: Who’s Graham?

 

Anna: You don’t need to worry about that anymore. I’ve filed for divorce.

 

Host: Thank you! Ladies and gentlemen, here ends our session. Have a safe journey home.

 

THE END.